Make a resolution that will make a difference.
It’s that time of year again – New Year’s resolution season. The time where everyone picks the thing they don’t like about themselves the most and vows to quit or change.
“I’m going to finally quit smoking in 2020!”
“I’m going to lose 20 pounds this year!”
“I’ll save half of what I make this year!”
“I’m going to exercise 5 days a week for the whole year!”
Look – I’m all for people caring about themselves and wanting to make positive changes in their lives. Kudos to the ones who stuck it out and actually stuck to the changes (though to date, I can’t think of a single person I know who changed this way…). Have you ever stuck to a New Year’s resolution?
Here’s the thing. As a counselor, I know that real change comes from within. It comes from understanding why you do what you do. It comes from diving deep into you shit and finding a way to come back up again. I doesn’t come from the calendar changing to January 1st.
See, when we make a resolution it’s usually the surface version of a problem we’re having. Here are a few examples:
Wanting to lose weight might be less about the actual number on the scale and more about an unhealthy relationship to food, or body image issues, or any number of insecurities.
Making a resolution about money might be less about needing to save more money and more about needing to confront maladaptive beliefs you have about money and financial security
Vowing to spend more time with family and friends might highlight that you’re struggling to maintain your relationships.
Resolving to be happier could be your desire to not feel the symptoms are trauma anymore.
Rather than putting the focus on making yourself better, put the work in to understanding what beliefs you have that are holding you back, limiting you, or just plain lying to you.
So I’m going on record for 2020 and saying this: counseling can change your life in a way that making a resolution won’t.
I’ve seen so many people change this way. I’ve seen people able lives without anxiety for the first time in years because they chose counseling. I’ve seen couples in real trouble work to love each other again through counseling. I’ve seen people in grief tell me that they felt joy for the first time in months through their work in counseling.
You want change? Find a counselor that can help you help yourself.
Make a resolution that will make a difference. #counselingismy2020resolution. Anyone else? Happy New Year!