What is gridlock? Gridlock is when you and your partner are both so dug in to your position in an argument that there is no room for movement. The more you both dig in to your perspective, the less chance you have at breaking free from the gridlock. What’s an example? You refuse to let […]
#marriagegoals: fighting nice
I hear a lot of bad advice about what makes a good relationship. People say things like: “happy couples don’t fight” “you should have sex at least once a week when you’re married – minimum” “buying her flowers will fix anything” That is all bullshit. Like most “advice” I hear, it creates unrealistic expectations […]
Three Date Night Ideas To Keep Your Relationship Interesting
Ah – it’s Valentine’s Day. A day of love, busy restaurants, over priced flowers, way over priced chocolate covered strawberries, you get my point. Don’t get me wrong – I think Valentine’s Day is sweet. But I think it’s sweeter to do something unique. We can fall into traps in relationships: our relationships can become […]
Change Communication in Your Relationship with I-Statements
Using I-statements can change how you communicate with your partner. Last week I shared a 3 minute video on blame that every couple should watch. According to Brené Brown, “blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain,” and “blaming’s very corrosive in relationships.” Corrosive and relationship in the same sentence? No, thanks. […]
The 3 Minute Blame Video Every Couple Needs to See
“How many of you go to that place? When something bad happens the first thing you want to know is whose fault is it? But here – if you enjoy blaming this is where you want to stick your fingers in your ear and do the na-na-na thing because I’m about to ruin it for […]
Relationship Connection: Couples Counseling
Part 4 of the Relationship Connection Series Counseling helps couples connect. So, connection is still a problem in your relationship? You tried using I-Statements that I told you about in the first post. You read the second post and tried to get a true grasp on self awareness. You used the third post as a […]
Relationship Connection: Modeling the Connection You Crave
Part 3 in the Relationship Connection Series What does your partner need for connection? Ok, so let’s get real here people. If you read the first post in the series, and the second, and now this – you really care about emotion connection in your relationship. Maybe it’s because there’s a loss of connection, […]
Relationship Connection: Deep Connection With Yourself
Part 2 in the Relationship Connection Issues Series Connect to yourself to connect with your partner. In my first post about connecting with your partner, I wrote about how to send messages to your partner so that they are received. In this post, I want to address the messages themselves. Are you connected with yourself […]
Relationship Connection: Connecting With Your Partner
Part 1 of the Relationship Connection Issues Series You’re thinking about connection on all the wrong ways. How well do you connect in your relationship? Connection is a word I hear a lot from clients. Deep connection. Emotional connection. “There’s no connection in my relationship.” “We’re not connecting.” “I don’t feel connected to my partner.” […]